My personal decision to choose a path of positive change instead of a life of regret:
This Millennial midlife crisis I’m having just hits different. For starters, Millennials have statistically bared the brunt of most of the worlds problems for the past few decades, and as we enter midlife it seems we are destined to continue to be the front runners for baring the adverse affects of the Baby Boomer population’s choke-hold on our society. I won’t get into the nitty-gritty here of Millennial VS Boomer politics, because frankly there are far more intelligent people who can speak about this topic. For now, I will simply submit this as a fact you can look up for yourself. It just fucking sucks to be a Millennial. So how do we fix this problem going into midlife?
For the past decade and a half, I’ve struggled to find the right career opportunities that had me saddled into various jobs that left me feeling hopeless. I devoted nearly all my efforts into building a career trajectory for myself that somewhere along the way got misaligned. I’m starting to realize now as I work through the process of reclaiming my life, that this isn’t a crisis I’m having….I’m just beginning to wake the fuck up!
We can build a different path for ourselves.
I’ve always tried my best to live my life according to what I thought was best for myself. Now having learned a great deal about life from personal experience, I think I’m at a point now where I can say that I wasn’t doing what I thought was best for me, but what was best for what society expected me to do.
According to Hara Estroff Marano, editor at large and journalist at psychologytoday.com, in an article titled Behold the MidLife Crisis, “Sooner or later, every person confronts himself or herself at midlife. It’s often a private realization. Perhaps a worrisome symptom of age debuts—a stiff joint, a chest twinge. Or a parent dies. Maybe one’s career has stalled at a low orbit. You wake up one morning, discover that life has settled into a dull routine before you’ve realized all your dreams, and you wonder: Is this all there is?”
I find myself hyper-focused on the “career has stalled at a low orbit” line as I navigate the strange waters of rebuilding my career at age 39 pushing 40. Never in my years would I have expected that at this age I’d be struggling to find purpose and meaning with my work, but here I am. I’m not the only one either. A trickle-down effect has occurred now, where Gen Z is now facing the biggest unemployment rate in recorded history. According to CBC Journalist Jenna Benchetrit, “Canadian graduates between the ages of 15 and 24 are facing the highest unemployment rate this country has seen since the mid-1990s.” How then are we supposed to keep up when even the generation ahead of us is struggling?
Dealing with unemployment midlife.
My decision to upend my career at 39 wasn’t an easy one, but it was certainly the correct choice. For the past six and a half years I’ve done my best ‘Dolly Parton’ impression and worked the 9-5 life for an organization that quite frankly, does not have the best intentions for myself, or any of the other employees working there. It was a typical corporate gig with half-decent pay, with toxic leadership combined with rewarding poor behaviour, and seemingly punishing staff who actively attempt to improve the toxic work culture. What made my position particularly insufferable, however, was the organization’s mission as it became hyper-political in the past few years in support of a war and genocide that I could never justify.
The mission of the company misaligned with my own core values of wanting to be a force for positive change was the sign I needed to jump this sinking ship. I thought I was making positive change when I started, but it’s clear to me now that I was really contributing to a charity that was built on reinforcing generational trauma, which also capitalizes on the misfortunes of others in another country. My mother always told me to beware of Wolves in Sheep’s clothing, and in this case the my own wool had been pulled over my eyes for far too long to see I was it’s next meal.
So, where then do I go from here? Well, I know one thing for certain… I cannot and will not put myself in a place like that ever again.
Building your own opportunities.
As I confront myself now in this ‘Millennial Midlife,’ I am thankful that I don’t feel the irrepressible need or stereotypical desire to buy a Porsche or move to a villa Under the Tuscan Sun. I certainly couldn’t afford to do these things either. Nor do I want to run off with a young twenty-something, as I’m madly in love with my partner Chris. So how do I reclaim my path life that I’ve lost? What actions can I take to upend my dull routine in favour of something far more profitable? Well, I think it starts with building new opportunities.
Using my experience and talents, what is it that truly brings me joy? For Julia Child, it was her love of eating that sparked her midlife career shift to become a master chef of French cuisine. I suppose over the next weeks this will be my quest. I want to figure out how to build new opportunities using my time, talents, and experience. What can I do for myself that will help me build my own hours, or pursue things that interest me? I certainly need to learn to cover the bills, but for once in my life I’m starting to not worry so much about money, and instead focus on choosing a career that brings me joy.
No, it’s not too much trouble to love what you do.
Very few people love working for a living, but most can find joy the little things in life in what they do. I think I probably could have stayed in my last career if it weren’t for the soul-crushing genocidal ideology of my employer, so maybe that will be a good starting point to launch a new career for myself. In fact, practicing mindfulness, and learning what it is that that I can do with my gifts that will bring others joy and meaning to their lives will be the centre focus of my final months at age 39. I refuse to live another day without being a force of positive change. The opportunities ahead of me are bountiful, so long as I’m willing to work for them.
If something in your life is misaligned, seek to realign it.
Find a different path in life, even if it’s a bumpy one.
I’m not saying quit your job and go live as a monk somewhere. What do think, is that if the current pathway you’re on is blocking you from joy, it’s time to choose a different path outside of a life of regret.
It’s OKAY to change the course of your life. You aren’t destined to live a life of misery. You are, however, responsible for taking your own destiny into your hands. If where you are isn’t satisfying or making you happy, it’s time to change it.
There’s nothing worse than being stuck at a dead end, even if you think it’s safe. In my case, the dead-end career I had certainly kept a roof over my head, but it was like jumping into a pit of venomous snakes every single day. Sooner or later, even if you’re immune to the venom, you’re going to get tired of getting bit.
Life is too fucking short, and in my case my life it’s half fucking over!
I want the next half to be spent doing something meaningful.
DANIEL JAMES PIKE 